Anyways, in honor of my mom’s birthday I thought I’d share a few things that I have realized about my own mother only AFTER becoming a mom myself. (Mouthful.)
Thoughts on Motherhood: What I Realized about my Mom After Becoming a Mom
She had NO clue what she was doing. My mom was 19 when she had me. NINETEEN, newly married, and with an infant. I was 28 when I had my son. I had done years of being a babysitter and nanny. I’ve changed hundreds of diapers and cleaned up throw-up and messy diapers. I’d been married for five wonderful years. I knew NOTHING when I had my son. Motherhood, while wonderful, was a huge slap in the face. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was READY. I found out I was dead wrong. But, more over, I suddenly realized what my mother must have felt at nineteen, with a new husband, and a fat, screaming baby. I seriously don’t know how she made it through that year or how she went on to have 3 more kids!
She lived in a different world. First off, I should say that my dad was a good dad to me. He later had to be a single dad while my mother was working on her health. He is kind, caring, and so GIVING. That being said… he and my mother lived in a time where women cooked, cleaned, reared children, AND tried to have a job. Not saying that some people are still like that today, it still happens. That was the world my mom lived in. I could not have done the past two years without my husband. He is great at sharing the working, cleaning, and cooking as well as helping with our son.
She made up parenting as she went. My mom had her mother and a few other mother friends to talk about things like discipline, developmental stages, and more. She wasn’t completely without resources. But, she didn’t have the resources that we have today. When I freaked out because my son’s gums were black from teething I just had to google. She had to worry or go to the doctor’s office and wait. When my youngest brother was born sick and unable to process formula, breast milk, or milk she had no online group of moms going through the same thing. She was alone in a sense.
She left for our own good. My mother was sick when I was in elementary school. She needed hospitalization and more help than she could get at home with four children. (This part is her story and not mine to tell, so I will leave it at that.) But, she left us. I didn’t understand it at the time. I resented her for some time after. But, she left for the well-being of me and my sister and brothers. It wasn’t easy. And, it was incredibly difficult on my father. But, after having my child and having a bout of depression soon after… I realized not only WHY she needed to leave, but how HARD it must have been.
She will ALWAYS be my mom. I used to get annoyed when she would baby me or try to tell me what to do. I got cranky when she did something I deemed “embarrassing.” But, after having my son, I could see myself doing the same things someday. He isn’t ever going to have a time in his life when I don’t look at him and remember what it was like to give birth to him or to snuggle in bed with him as he is falling asleep. My mom is always going to look at me as both a grown woman and her first baby girl.
Anyways, thanks mom. Thank you for the whole birth thing. Thanks for the above realizations. And, thanks for being my mom.