I’m a lucky woman. I have a lot of people in my life who love me and who I love. I’ve had a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend so far and have enjoyed every moment of celebrating mothers and being celebrated by my husband and son.
Every Mother’s Day I spend some time thinking about my past and the role of a mother. My story of my relationship with my mother is a long one… there was a time in her life that she wasn’t able to take care of her children the way she wanted to, and had to spend time getting herself help.
When I was younger I’d often wish that my family was more “normal.” Growing up I had a father that had to play two roles at times— both mom and dad. I had two Grandmothers that pitched in to teach me the things that a mother would need to convey. I felt frustrated a lot when it came to my own mother.
After finding the help she needed, she had to struggle to become a role in my life again. I didn’t make it easy. Eventually though, I was thankful to have a mom again. She made or helped buy my prom dresses my Junior and Senior years of high school. She planned my graduation party. She played a big role in my wedding. And, now that I have a son, she plays a big role in his life. She is a great grandma.
I spent a lot of my life being upset about my lot in life. Being upset that it was my grandmother that had to teach me about my period. That it was my father who I had to ask about shaving. That it was me that had to help teach and take care of my brothers and sister as we were growing up.
Now I look back and see that I had amazing examples of the role of a mom. I realize I wouldn’t have had those examples if things had been different. I realize that I would likely not have the relationship with my mother that I do if she had not taken some time to get herself help. I’ve realized that anyone with a big heart, lots of patience, and love can become a “mom” in one way or another. This statement does not simplify the role of the mother…. it is a vital role and it is not an easy one. It’s just true. It is true for all the foster mothers, step mothers, adoptive mothers, single fathers…. this list goes on and on.
I had a lot of people pull together to be a mother to me in a time of need. My father. My grandmothers. The lady I nannied for while I was in college. After getting married I got to know a wonderful mother in my mother-in-law. She has been a constant example to me.
The role of a mother is simple and complicated all rolled in to one. I’m lucky to have the examples that I have in my life. I feel that if I take the best of my examples and try to live up to those examples in my role as a mother that my son has a pretty good shot at a happy life.
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone out there that had to take on the role of mother one time or another. And, a big Happy Mother’s Day to all those mammas out there that are stepping into the role of motherhood and giving it their all. Happy Mother’s Day and a big I LOVE YOU to my wonderful mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. You’ve helped shaped me in my role as a mom. Thank you.
Now, off to a Mother’s Day BBQ!